Don’t Spoil It For Yourself

Have you heard someone rant about how their Facebook or Instagram feed is always full of other people’s perfect vacation pictures or beautiful selfies? And it’s making them feel so jelly and ruining their moods. Every. Single. Day.

How did those rants make you feel?

Do you shake your head in sadness? Do you giggle in glee? Do you secretly relate to them?

And in response, everyone keeps saying things like:

Those are all their best moments – they will never show you their lows; only highs.

Just think about how many hundred times they had to retake that selfie!

Or my favourite:

Oh my goodness, who the hell cares!

Seriously, who cares about people getting angry at other people for making them feel inferior or insecure? Those people are not worthy of your attention.

You don’t need someone else to make you feel inferior or insecure – you can do that all by yourself. And you do.

You Inferior

You weak, pathetic, whimpering keyboard warrior, hiding behind your online anonymity and impenetrable virtual screen. You sniveling pool of discombobulate gelatinous genetic gravy wasting away the resources of the world with your sorry excuses and depressive virtual shenanigans.

Why can’t you be happy for these “friends” of yours on your social media that you clearly feel so connected to that you talk or chat with them all the time, instead of browsing and semi-stalking their post, leaving passive aggressive comments?

They’re giving you great suggestions of new places to visit and dope experiences to try! They’re sharing their happiness with you (and a few others, sure).

So what if they want to show off a little?

Either be happy for them, or forget about it and move on with your life.

Oh wait, is that your life?

Vicariously living off the sweet moments and intriguing updates of your “friends”? Hitting that sweet button to give your ultimate approval to everyone in your circle, and an endorphin boost to your brain?

And so you feel entitled to feel insulted for being excluded from these gatherings that you always decline to go to? You’re allowed to feel angry that these other people get to go on sweet vacations while you’re stuck working your ass off to pay for your own damn bills?

Sure you are entitled to. But don’t go whining about it on your own social media, or worse, on other people’s perfectly curated posts and albums. That just makes it look worse.

Just simmer in silence and let it erode away at your sense of self worth and sanity, like all the other silent lurkers petrified into inaction by reality and their own fear of anything outside their comfort zone.

Simmer in silence at the injustice that is thrust upon you by these inconsiderate bastards that flaunt their good looks and fortune and happy lifestyles and fun activities.

Simmer in silence as the world moves on without you while you make up excuses to exclude yourself from your own family and friends and society, because you’re too afraid to even try, afraid that you will fail a thousand times over from the 14,000,605 eventualities that you foresaw.

Dr. Strange Good Guy Spoiler Free

Don’t spoil it for yourself. 

None of this applies to you?

Then congratulations! You are a master at not giving a crap about what others think about you.

And that’s exactly what you should do!

Because you have no control whatsoever about how people interpret your words and actions, and what they secretly think about you in their judgmental little minds.

You only have control over you. You and your own thoughts.

So save them for someone that matters, like future you.

Forget about the judgmental jesters and perfect preeners with their perfect photography skills.

Go do your own thing, and make yourself happy. Because only you can do that.

Nobody can or will do it for you.


Man, I gotta get to some of those sweet places sometime! Now seems good.


P.S. Dark Reader is the best thing ever!


Chrome Dark Reader Night Mode Best

So good on the eyes…

Why Are You Still Building?

Penang November 2017 Flood

I’m sure it’s a very novel way to get around town, but nobody would have traded their homes and belongings for this. The recent inundations have certainly brought many pressing issues to the surface of the Penangite psyche.

There were many factors that contributed to the severity of the floods that came in the night and the horror that followed; many of these were beyond human control. However, like climate change we are gradually coming to terms with the fact that we are partially to blame for all this.

One of the popular reasons cited for the bad flooding in Penang is the overdevelopment and excessive urbanisation of what little land area there is, especially on the island. While I’m sure the ridiculous bucket of water dumped on Penang (over 300mm of rainfall that fateful Saturday night) was the main culprit, the sudden boom in buildings and lack of appropriate infrastructure in Penang are certainly part of the problem.

According to our Department of Statistics, the level of urbanisation in Penang is a massive 90.8 per cent. That means over 90% of Penangites live in urban, built up settlements. That’s almost as high as Kuala Lumpur, but in Penang the population density is twice is high (1,490 persons per square kilometre)!

That doesn’t really sound that alarming. Pretty normal actually. Everyone is moving out of the kampung and joining the fun city life. Woop de doo!

This article, on the other hand, claims that the current government has approved up to 8 times as many hillslope development projects (which is a rather skewed look at a niche statistic, but it is an indicator) as their predecessors. Oh, trust me, it’s not just hillslope projects that received approval.

So, I guess that begs the question:

Why the fuck are you still building?

Seriously, there are way too many developers building way too many high rise condos for who knows who.

EcoWorld just dumped five hot steaming turds all over Penang; Mah Sing is hacking away down south; Ideal has pimped out at least five affordable bitches on the island alone; IJM decided to stop reclamation by sowing their sick cement into the seas instead; Zeon and its little weeny retards are spewing up their wet dreams; Hunza is slowly creeping around regurgitating dead babies to make up their population growth fake news.

Evil Within

And let’s not forget all the other little faecal fetish floppycocks that want to suck at the soggy piece of the pie.

They keep building and building like it’s nobody’s business, or should I say like it’s such great business, which it is. Who are they building for? Not the locals, that’s for sure.

Affordable housing is just another bone they throw to keep the locals happy, and it’s even more excuse for developers to build even more! Hooray!

They’re desperate. It’s a false economy.

Building creates jobs and cash flow and keeps the wheel turning. Keeps everyone happy, keeps everyone spending.

Oversupply doesn’t even begin to describe the property landscape in Penang. They expect the population to grow by 60% by 2020, but they’re building like it will quadruple in the next few years!

And these constructions are in no way sustainable or environmentally friendly. Calling themselves Asia Green or EcoWorld, and their structures have nothing even remotely related to nature. Oh sure, they say they’ll preserve a section and plant a few trees, and then ravage the other areas to make Carthage look like child’s play.

The sad part is they’re not even close to stopping. When they run out of land, they’ll just reclaim some more and start over! Gurney Wharf will be ready for the taking by the time most of the shithead developers are done with their current projects.

Dear government, let me ask you one question:

Are we so desperate that you need to whore out every inch of our land to foreign investors so you can cling to what little shred of dignity you have left?

You’re so concerned with making money and making big shot businessmen happy that you’ve sacrificed Penang’s blood and bones. Sure, you’re making Penang cash rich (until the Chinese own everything), but to what end? So Penang can have some ridiculously high GDP? So the fat cats can get drunk and be merry? So you can win another election?

When will enough be enough?

Motivating The Unmotivated

Hi guys! It’s been a while. How is everybody…?

So as you may have noticed, lately times have been rough and people are being battered by bad economy, sluggish growth and scorching heat. No one seems to be particularly motivated. Perhaps that’s a bit of a pessimistic outlook, but fear not – I am here to solve that!

The question: how do you motivate people who are set in their ways and are only doing the bare minimum to keep their job so they can go home and do not very much?

I’m sure they have exciting hobbies that are totally different from yours and all, which is nice. But when they come to work, no matter how you try to egg them on or engage them in extracurricular activities, the response is lukewarm at best. I’m sure you’ve encountered people like that.

I’m not interested in what their excuse is – be it they’re introverts by nature or their pet hamster passed on and they can’t come to terms with fragility of this cruel, cruel life. I want to know how to bring these people to life!

Let’s see, what are our options?

  • Get to know them better and engage them on a personal level
    • That’s nice and all, but clearly the snail’s path to morale-boosting. I am being frivolous about the importance of treating people as people, but if you have a hundred people working with you, you’re going to be at it for a long time
  • Throw money at them. Everyone loves money! 
    • If only money grew on trees. It is an effective form of positive reinforcement, but is it suitable for all departments and industries?
  • Host lots of team-building exercises and company activities
    • As nice as it sounds, it’s not as simple to break apart the existing cliques, and the less motivated staff tend to find ways not to participate in anything that isn’t absolutely mandatory
  • Set lots of elaborate goals and have wonderful acronyms like KPI’s coming out of their ears
    • Smart goals are effective at driving people, if they are well implemented and there is a suitably clear reward at the end. Otherwise they’re just more words that people soon forget
  • Provide special benefits like dental and free candy!
    • Helps to bring people in the door, but does it really motivate them? It’s a nice thing to have, but people soon take it for granted
  • Laugh, and the world laughs with you
    • Laughter is the best medicine! If you’re a comedian or doctor, that is. I wish motivation was as infectious as laughter
  • Spare no rods and reap the spoils
    • Become the bad guy and “encourage” people through fear and threats and workplace drama. Everyone loves drama!
  • Be a good leader and lead by example
    • Huh? Where do you come up with this stuff?
    • If you show up every day all giddy with motivation, do other people follow suit?

There is an interesting theory about how to lead a new movement or get people to adopt something totally new. The first person to start something unheard of is often viewed as wacky and eccentric and regarded with skepticism. However, once a second person comes into the picture and follows the leader, public opinion begins to sway.

So perhaps the key to getting people motivated is to:

  1. Express your own overwhelming motivation
  2. Convince another person to join your team and share your motivation
  3. Success!

Yeah, actually the key is to just start your own multi-level marketing motivational loving mummy scheme and get people to cheer and clap whenever you say a catchphrase. That ought to get plenty of people motivated!

Or just run for the Presidency of the United States. That seems like good fun.

I don’t know. What motivates people in this life? Money? Sex? Fame? A combination of the three? Or is there more…? Cute puppies, maybe? They are certainly cuddly. Cuddly wuddly.