Antey Biteys

They climb on you, and then they get mad and bite you. What the heck is wrong with you stupid ants!?

Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic

Have you ever been happily strolling along or standing around minding your own business when you felt that little pinch on your skin, the sting of little pincers poking into your sensitive skin?

I’ve always wondered why ants would chomp down unprovoked when we’re blissfully ignorant of their presence.

Are they trying to hang on tight? Or asking to get off? Or they just want a piece of this? Maybe they want to carry you back to their nest.

Whatever it is, I wish they would stop it with the needless antey biteys.

If They Could Talk

If dogs could talk, what would they say?

Would you wish for your dog or cat or pet to be able to converse in human language?

What would they actually say? What would your dog say about you and about your way of life? Or perhaps it would be all baby talk?

To be honest, I believe the big appeal of pets and animal companionship is the fact that they don’t talk.

So really, if I had a wish that could come true, I wouldn’t wish dogs or cats or any animals could talk. That would ruin it.

Just wish for them to live longer, perhaps.

What If Unicorns Were Real?

The mythology of unicorns has been in popular culture for as long as we can remember, but how did it all begin? And why are unicorns always candy-infused, rainbow-spewing, magically cutesy beings?

What would unicorns be like if they were real world animals? What if unicorns were real?

So don’t be shy about loving unicorns, even if you’re a guy! The pink rainbow versions are just the kid-friendly renditions, because the real shit is clearly too much for society to handle.

It feels like as part of the feminist movement, they had to make every single animal on this putrid globe extra cutesy and give them floofy names like danger noodle and trash panda and domesticate them into soggy, docile furballs.

Well, you’ve done it to the poor unicorn for long enough!

Yeah, we’re taking back the unicorn, boys!

Tonight we ride in hell!

Humans Now Like Moths? What About Roachies?

Did you hear the news that moths have been instrumental in secretly pollinating our plants at night? Roachie did.

Roachie seems a little envious about their recent popularity.

Here is the article about the moth discovery. Previously bees and butterflies were getting all the credit, but glad to see that moths are now being viewed in a more positive light.

I think roachies may take a little more work before humans warm up to them…

I recall there being an article about cockroaches being clean animals…but I think they meant of themselves.

Oh yeah, apparently they groom themselves as much as a cat does.

If only they cleaned my place as well as their antennae.

Anyway, hooray for moths!

Today I Learned: How Now Brown Unicow?

Today I learned that the term “cow” refers not just to your mom, but to a specific status of the animal, and that the proper generic name for those big tanks that give us milk and beef is “cattle”.

How now brown cattle?

Hm…doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

So here is my dedication to the cattle and their respective statuses!

In Unicattle form, of course.

So yes, in case none of that made sense to you, cow refers to a female that has given birth to a calf. A heifer refers to a female that has not given birth.

A bull refers to a male that is physically able…and intact; while a steer is a male that has been castrated. You know, missing a little sump’m sump’m.

Learn something new every day!

How now brown Unicow?