Dependence Day

Here are some words I came across in my wanderings:

Don’t be disappointed if people refuse to help you.

Remember the words of Einstein*:

“I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.”

*Although commonly attributed to Einstein, the quote is actually by an author named Dyer.

Now that’s certainly a good way to take rejection! Going out on your own strength, into the unknown, to forge your own path, instead of wallowing in self-pity. It may be lonely and it may be cold, but at the end of the day, you know you learned to stand on your own two feet.

Is dependence even good for you? Certainly it is something intrinsic to all of us, at least for some part of our lives. We are born dependent upon a guardian, someone to nurture and guide us in the early ways of the world. At some point in our lives, we probably will find that we are dependent upon something – be it another living being, a greater being, or coffee.

Dependence

Just because it’s natural, does that mean it’s good for you? What does society say? The very term “dependence” has a rather negative connotation to it, wouldn’t you agree? It conjures up an image of an overgrown adult languishing in the comfortable abode of his family home. To be fair, this image is becoming more and more common in this day and age, so perhaps the stigma will fade with time. But I digress.

Here’s the definition of the word:

de·pend·ence
dəˈpendəns/
noun
  • The state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else.
    • Reliance on someone or something for financial support.
    • Addiction to drink or drugs.

       

      Sounds nice. And words have meaning because people agree on it.

So since society doesn’t like it, does that mean it’s bad? Society has never been the best judge of things. Simply look at the stock market or smoking or Justin Bieber (I jest, he’s a cool kid).

Wait, so now it’s not bad? I challenge you to find someone who isn’t dependent on at least one thing. As independent as we would like to be, aren’t we still dependent on food, on water, on oxygen? And yet we look down upon those who struggle to eke out the bare minimum, hardly able to meet their own needs.

Why do we abhor dependence so? Perhaps it is because it reminds us of how weak and frail we truly are. How we cannot escape that which binds us, that which all humans know is there in the back of their minds.

We wrestle and strain at the shackles that bind us to this mortal coil, yearning to be free of the very gravity and inertia that pulls us ever down and down.

So every opportunity we get, we prove to ourselves that we can do it. We don’t need help! We don’t need anyone’s approval! When the world has rejected us, we rise on our own and we take a deep breath and accept our fears and natural dependencies, and we move forward.

So be thankful to those who said a big fat NO to you. Because of them you learned how to stand on your own, how to fight your own battles, how to live your own life. Keep pushing yourself, and keep striving with that burning desire that drives you ever onward into the oncoming snowstorm. And through it all, always remember:

You are not alone in your struggle. 

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