Enjoying One’s Company

During this time of lockdown, I’ve come to a realisation: I like being alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy human interaction as much as the next person. Well…maybe not nearly as much as the next person.

Sometimes dealing with people drains you and you’d like some peace and quiet for a change, without people demanding things every other second.

The point is I like my own company and being by myself and bouncing thoughts off myself. I like operating on my own time, in my own space, in my own head.

And perhaps on some level, I can’t stand the complications of engaging and catering to the needs of other people. Some days it just feels like everyone just wants something from you. Boy, I sound like a proper sociopath, don’t I?

Does that make me damaged or deranged? Am I defective in some way?

Or am I just a true introvert?

I used to believe I was an extrovert, feeling alive and energised in the presence of others. But now, after a long day out I just feel drained and depleted like a Vespene Gas mine. Now I relish the thought of spending an evening with just me and my earphones and running shoes, my guitar, the night, the silence.

Does that mean I’ll be forever alone? Let’s not get all reductio ad absurdum now. Of course not – I imagine there will still be room for social activities. But my limit for them might be a lot lower. Perhaps there is a natural order of things that gradually reduces our need or yearning for attention and constant interaction.

Or maybe I’ll just end up a crazy cat person.

Crazy Cat Lady - TV Tropes

My tolerance for people’s bovine faecal matter is waning, and I realise that with age and maturity it’s not your tolerance level that grows, but rather the apathy and ability to not care about things that don’t matter. Discerning what matters.

Is there someone out there who won’t drain me and exhaust me? Someone who matches my energy levels or jives with my flow?

I imagine even in relationships, sometimes people need a hiatus from each other, no matter how brief. I was listening to a discussion recently about how sleeping separately is not necessary a bad sign, but rather a mature move by two people who care about each other enough to accept that being well-rested is more important than trying to maintain the image of traditional love and cramming into the same bed.

That concept resonates with me, the thought that being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that you’re glued to each other at the waist. Sure, some couples can spend every waking moment staring into each other’s eyes, but realistically most people have their own jobs and activities and lives not intimately linked with their romantic relationship. Hell, it’s probably necessary to keep the relationship alive.

I feel a relationship should be two people committed to growing together, but still with room to develop individually. Perhaps the thought of your counterpart potentially changing into different characters as the days go by scares you. Maybe you cling to the relationship to save and redeem you.

But the fact of the matter is, you don’t have control over other people. Only yourself.

As much as you try to gaslight or manipulate others so they feel like they need you and you alone, your insecurities will consume yourself as well as everyone around you.

So give other people the same freedom, the same space that you would wish for yourself.

Everyone needs their own space, and I have found mine.

Cats. Lots of them.

Please follow and like us:

Superiority Complex – Problem or Necessary?

I’m sure you’ve heard of the inferiority complex, but have you heard of its self-proclaimed bigger brother the superiority complex?

Those familiar with Adlerian psychology will have heard of the superiority complex, but for those of you who haven’t heard I imagine you can take a guess at what the complex is about. There are numerous articles on the topic already, I’m sure.

Now the question is this: is having a superiority complex a problem?

Or is it a pre-requisite to succeed in this fast-paced, widely-connected social media era?

What Superiority Complex?

So what does a superiority complex look like in this modern day and age?

I mean, aren’t we all trying to gain the upper hand in this world one way or another? To climb the ladder of life, to scramble ever upwards in this rat race we call capitalism and the Malaysian/Singaporen/American Dream?

In that sense most of us are trying to become superior in some form, right? And is that wrong?

The superiority complex lies not in what goals we aim for and how we manage our finances; it has to do with how we regard our fellow man (and woman). Because as Adlerian psychology teaches, life is all about interpersonal relationships.

To think of it from a loftier perspective, is not our very human existence all about finding meaning and purpose? And where do we derive this meaning and purpose? Is it not from our interactions with our fellow human beings and other living and inanimate things in our world around us?

If you boil it down, even higher pursuits like religion and science are about guiding and exploring relationships between humans. It is teaching us how to experience life and togetherness and closeness with each other.

So if life is all about us interacting in harmony with one another, then the superiority complex is about regarding oneself as above our fellow man (or woman). It is the mentality that a certain trait or ability or status makes one greater than everyone else, the belief that one is better.

Basically this dude:

Magneto superiority complex
superiority complex

To be fair, he does have a good reason to believe he is superior.

Now the problem lies not just in the belief, but the actions that result from believing you are God’s gift to mankind for whatever reason.

Ironically enough, the superiority complex tends to arise as a defense mechanism to help a person cope with feelings on inferiority. And this is not something you develop overnight – it is an ingrained habit of thought. Most people don’t even realise they have it.

Those with superiority complexes aren’t that far off from narcissists, and in times of strife (like during, say a pandemic) they may struggle because they cannot do what they do best – exploit others for their own gain.

You see, those with a superiority complex gain their self-worth and esteem from external sources, relying on others to boost their frail ego. During a pandemic, with limited social contact, they’ll need more than some online affirmation to feel validated.

Oh wait, that’s what social media is for!

Got Complex?

Do you think someone might have a superiority complex? Here are a few things to look out for:

  1. They compare themselves to others constantly
  2. They have a strong sense of entitlement
  3. They don’t like it when you don’t act the way they want
  4. They seek validation all the time
  5. They don’t own up to their mistakes

And what does that look like on social media?

I Am Very Smart Bingo : iamverysmart superiority complex

There’s a subreddit (on…Reddit) named r/IAmVerySmart where…people try very hard to look smart.

It’s a fun sub.

r/iamverysmart - One step away from being gandi
superiority complex
superiority complexThis one hurts a little

You’ll notice in the above excerpts there are comparisons using age: one implying that they are an underage precocious genius, and the other implying that kids are not smart.

As the saying goes:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

And yet we all still do it, because we need a benchmark or just want to feel good about ourselves. We all have insecurities, but does that mean we all suffer from a superiority complex?

Where do we draw the line? Our self-worth still has to stem from something, some belief that we are enough or we are capable. Or does it?

Is it possible to have a strong sense of self-worth while not looking down upon others? Not needing to compare and measure yourself against other people, just your past self?

It’s easy identifying this in others, but funnily enough if we have it ourselves, our superiority complexes probably wouldn’t allow us to admit that we have one.

At the end of the day, we all need some form of reassurance that we are good at something or have worth in this world. But when that title or object makes you think that you deserve better than others and that you’re better than other people, then that might be a superiority complex on your shoulders.

When you start treating others as beneath yourself due to their upbringing, race, religion or just because you’re in a better position than them, then you might have a complex.

Is it a problem?

That’s for you to decide.

Problem attitude superiority complex

And I’ll leave you with this one final quote:

Sarcastic superiority complex

Oh I’ve known some sarcasm masters in my time.

Please follow and like us:

Vestiges of Summer

Under my eyelids still reside
The vestiges of summer,
And as I drift across the fields
Upon warm toasted butter
Of the beaming golden sun
In its waning light I wonder
What summer is like where you are.

We used to hold hands upon the pier
As the waves caressed the break,
Sea breeze brings back the memories
As my heart begins to ache,
The clouds fall away to black
And the sun begins to forsake
Reminding me I am standing alone.

And though I know that you go
To a place far better than here,
Inside I can’t help but feel a
Void of terror and fear,
That nothing else and no one
Can ever make me feel this dear,
This poor and shattered upon the pier.

So now I embark on the road
Back the way we came
Back down the pier I go
But it is no longer the same.
I awaken to the fact
That there is no longer the flame
To light the way in the dark of night.

Now the sun has plummeted
Beneath the deep blue sea
Plunged into the depths
Of some aquatic revelry
Like the beat that sways
From within my chest
For freedom does it plea.

As the stars begin to dance
Across the navy waves
And I recall your face
My soul that I thought was saved
Comes crashing down hard
Churned into a ragged foam
Into a million salty graves.

Under my eyelids still reside
The vestiges of summer
That warm and gentle breath
With you in that billowing dress
I know you won’t be back
But still I can’t let go
As my heart yearns for swift death.


Please follow and like us:

阳光的陪伴 (杨芸晴) 吉他乐谱 Companions of the Sun (Sunnee) Guitar Chords

阳光的陪伴 by Sunnee 杨芸晴

What an apt name, an artist named Sunnee with a hit single about the warm embrace of the sun.

阳光的陪伴 by Sunnee 杨芸晴

There is a power key change for the last chorus, so start your capo out on 3rd fret then shift it up to the 4th fret right after.

Intro
Cmaj7 – Am7 – Dm – G

Here is the video for the guitar riff:

Cmaj7_____Am___________Dm
在傍晚阳光里 又把我们故事说起 yeah
______G
从没有忘记过 whoa
Cmaj7______Am__________Dm
走在云和雾里 让你感觉疲惫到快无法呼吸
____G
不想坚持走下去

Em__________Am___A7____Dm
太多事情让我们错过 很多美好
_______G
一直不停的向前跑
Em_________Am___A7
现在我想好好享受 这时光
____Dm_______G
抛开外界 这一切混乱

Cmaj7________Am________Dm
你的拥抱 充满爱的温暖 其他我都不管
G_____________Cmaj7
你就是我最阳光的陪伴
_____Am_________Dm
还有你的微笑 是最好的疗效
G________________F_C_G
天塌下来我们一起依靠

Cmaj7_____Am___________Dm
请你别离开我 我还有事情没有做 yeah
______G
再给我点时间 oo whoa
Cmaj7
想牵着你的手
Am_____________Dm
让你能够感受我就在你身边
______G
一起度过这快乐

Em__________Am___A7____Dm
太多事情让我们错过 很多美好
_______G
一直不停的向前跑
Em_________Am___A7
现在我想好好享受 这时光
____Dm_______G
抛开外界 这一切混乱

Cmaj7________Am________Dm
你的拥抱 充满爱的温暖 其他我都不管
G_____________Cmaj7
你就是我最阳光的陪伴
_____Am_________Dm
还有你的微笑 是最好的疗效
G________________F
天塌下来我们一起依靠

F_______Em
看着我的双眼
___Am
你会慢慢的看见
C______G____F
你和我那些浪漫画面
______Em
静止在这瞬间
____Am___C
我就在你面前
____G
向着你说我很爱

Cmaj7________Am________Dm
你的拥抱 充满爱的温暖 其他我都不管
G_____________Cmaj7
你就是我最阳光的陪伴
_____Am_________Dm
还有你的微笑 是最好的疗效
G
Na na na na na

Capo 4

Cmaj7________Am________Dm
你的拥抱 充满爱的温暖 其他我都不管
G_____________Cmaj7
你就是我最阳光的陪伴
_____Am_________Dm
还有你的微笑 是最好的疗效
G________________F
天塌下来我们一起依靠

Here is a link to the video for the intro!

Have fun!

Please follow and like us:

KF and Eva Combine OK!

Congratulations you crazy kids!

Son Goku Fai with Eva

Boss lady said she abhors pink, quick change! It’s now tomato.

Son Goku Fai with Eva tomato hoodie

Wishing the two of you the very best of happiness and health! Oh and many, many, many kids.

I’m going to need to start a daycare soon.

This is just a little tribute to the both of you, the happiness I feel for both of you encapsulated in a simple sketch.

Please follow and like us:

Nobody Cares

Let’s get one thing straight: people don’t care about you.

People don’t care if you’ve lost a pint of blood or your intestines are gummed up and fried from chemo; they don’t care about how many levels of hell you’ve been through and how terrible your childhood (or lack thereof) was. They will suck every last drop from your lesioned arteries, drain you dry of your essence without a moment’s hesitation.

They only care about themselves and what’s good for them.

Even if they appear to care about you, they’re really just concerned about what’s in it for them, what they can get out of the exchange at the end of it. Like studies have shown, doing charity and being nice to others gives you a dopamine rush, so it’s win-win!

Or they’re altruistic so their clan or next of kin will benefit and have a better life; they’re thinking one step ahead.

People don’t care about you. At the end of the day, everyone just looks out for themselves, directly or indirectly.

But unfortunately, we humans need one another. We still have to kind of work together to achieve some common goal or sense of bullshit civilisation.

Well, that’s a bummer.

So yes, if you want to get anywhere, you’ve got to hear people out, make them feel like you care about them. Just so you can have your way and live a little easier.

As much as you may try to avoid all human interaction (as many are wont to do this day and age, especially with this delightful thing called the internet), at some point you still have to go collect that parcel from the delivery person or wait for the security guard to scan you in.

So what do you do in a world where no one really cares?

Should you be fake? Should you pretend to care when deep down you just wish everyone would curl up and implode in a bright red ball of chunky splatter?

They only care about themselves and what’s good for them. And so should you.

Right?

Well, yeah. Care about yourself first. This isn’t some trick question!

And then if you have the attention and the energy, you can try caring about other people and what they’re doing.

I’ve realised that trying to be super nice and bending over backwards for others doesn’t really get you anywhere. I mean, still be nice and polite by all means, but have the guts to draw the line somewhere.

Don’t be nice and polite just for the sake of being nice and polite. Get something out of the exchange! That’s the secret.

If everyone else is getting dopamine rushes except for yourself, then buddy you’re not playing the game right.

So start caring about yourself first. It’s not a selfish thing, it’s the right thing to do.

Because honestly, nobody cares about you so you might as well start caring for yourself.

I’m reminded of an Avril song. Just change the word “home” to “cares”. Still just as emo.

Nobody cares, dude.

Please follow and like us:

7 Tips To Making Your Malaysian Interviewer Remember You

Hey kids! Now that a whole bunch of you have been unleashed upon the Malaysian workforce, here are some things to help you not screw up ace your interview. And in order to ace your interview, you need to ensure your interviewer remembers you.

So how do you make someone remember you? In a professional way, I mean. Streaking through someone’s office is not the way into their org chart; you can save that for after you’ve worked there a few hours.

1. Inform Lah

Best not to be late to your interview, but if you operate on Malaysian time, or you have difficulty finding the place, then ring ahead or drop a message before the interviewer moves on.

8 Traditional Malaysian desserts that will throw you back ...
Just chill, bro

Hell, even if you’re not late or know exactly where the place is, dropping a courtesy message to confirm your attendance will go a long way in making your potential employer remember you.

2. Do Your Research

The number of times people come in without even glancing at the company’s website or social media pages is baffling!

At the very least, you’ll get an idea if this company is a place where you’ll fit in, especially if the company puts some effort into their social media.

I’m aware you’ve probably applied to a crap-tonne of companies, but the interviewers have probably sat through a crap-tonne of candidates that they couldn’t care to remember either.

If you want to be remembered, show that you’re interested. If you want to show that you give a rat’s ass about the position, show that you’re remotely interested in the company you’re applying for.

Even if the interviewer doesn’t ask you, drop some of that knowledge later on by preparing a question or two. But that’s a later point.

3. Bring Your Resume

If you think the interviewer is going to print out your resume for you, then you haven’t been to enough interviews.

If your resume stands out, then letting them keep a copy increases the chances that they’ll flip back to it.

Oh, pro-tip: even if you’re not a supermodel or have the jawline of Superman, put a professional but friendly photo of yourself in your resume. People remember a face.

3A. Be Friendly

Smile for Allah’s sake!

There’s a saying:

“Your smile is the best accessory you could ever wear.”

Whether you agree with it or not, people remember a genial, friendly person. You can do no wrong by smiling, as long as you’re not creepy about it.

75+ Most Funniest Smile Pictures

Well…at least they’ll remember you.

But yeah, you’re allowed to make small talk because interviews can get awkward as hell. And if you crack a joke or two, they might hire you as a comedian!

Being friendly naturally makes you come across as more confident as well. Even if you’re nervous as fuck on the inside, if you force yourself to interact politely you’ll help to break the ice and it will make a much better interview experience for both parties.

5. Draw From Real Experience (STAR)

When answering questions about how you conduct yourself or carry out tasks, use the STAR method.

Situation, Task, Action, Result.

Situasi, Tugas, Tindakan, Hasil.

STTH sounds like a hormone.

Basically, when you tell a story, hit these four points. Explain the situation, state what task was involved, tell them what action you took, and what the final result was.

Anyway, even if you don’t use the STAR method, always try to draw on real experiences from your past. Makes you sound more credible, as opposed to getting all hypothetical. You’ll probably embellish a little, but if it makes for a better story then who’s to know?

Be prepared for follow up questions, though. So don’t go too overboard in case they start poking holes in your story.

Tie your stories and examples to real life experiences and accomplishments, and if these fit the job requirements, then there’s a good chance you’ll ace this thing.

6. Ask Questions (Preferably Smart Ones)

Once the interview is over and they ask if you have any questions, now is a great chance to make yourself stick in the interviewer’s mind (if you haven’t already done so in the interview). Try to show some interest or make yourself more intriguing by firing off some thought-provoking questions.

If you’ve done your research and know something unique about the company you’re interviewing for, now is the time to work it into a question.

Even something innocent like: “how long have you guys been making this tasteless chendol for?” will make you stand out from the rest of the slipshod candidates.

Avoid some of the typical ones, because the interviewer may be tired of hearing them and may make you come across as insincere.

Try one of these:

  • What should I expect next? When can I hear back?
  • What would a normal day at work here be like?
  • What are the skills or characteristics needed for someone to succeed in this role?
  • Do you mind if I reheat my fish curry in your microwave? (Yeah, please don’t actually use this one…)
  • What are the challenges you’re currently facing in your role?

Better yet, if you can make the interviewer imagine you in the role you’re applying for, you’ve got a good chance of being shortlisted.

Try asking something like:

  • What is the culture like here? How well do you feel I would fit into the culture here?
  • If I were to get this position, who would I be reporting to? (Not necessarily the person, but the position of the person.)
  • If I were in this position, how would my performance be measured?
  • If a tree falls in the hutan and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? (If your interviewer is zen, you win liao.)

A great idea would be to send a thank you or courtesy message to the interviewer after you’re done. Even if you crashed and burned, this will put you in a positive light and make you a million times more memorable.

7. References

Don’t make people have to chase you for references. If you don’t want to put it in your resume, then at least promise to send it to your interviewer. That way you’ll have another opportunity to communicate with them, thereby increasing your chances of being noticed by senpai.

Chibi Girl says NOTICE ME SENPAI! by The-Sky-Is-Up on ...

Hope these tips help you!

Remember, the interview process is biased towards those who are more socially attuned and better at talking (especially about themselves), so just be genuine and practice a few good lines and don’t forget to breathe.

Please follow and like us:

Happy Singles’ Day (Double 11)

Happy Singles’ Day everybody!

Since China coined the 11.11 as Bachelor Day, Double 11 has exploded around the world, especially in the retail industry. Happy Singles’ Day? More like happy Shopaholic Day!

But let’s not get too cynical now. It’s another wonderful day to be alive!

What do you usually do for Double 11?

Please follow and like us:

Breathe (James Arthur) Guitar Intro Tabs

Shout out to @Kudalure for requesting the guitar tabs for the Breathe intro by James Arthur!

Here you go!

I mean, but first let me insert super long story to boost post SEO. Just kidding.

e:--------1------------0------|---------1--------------0-------|
B:--------3------------1------|---------3--------------1-------|
G:--------2------------0------|---------3--------------0-------|
D:-----0----------------------|--------------------3-----------|
A:-0-----------0---3----------|-0---1----------0---------------|
E:----------------------------|--------------------------------|

Repeat ad nauseum.

Yep, that’s pretty much the guitar intro as well as the guitar accompaniment throughout the majority of the song.

The intro is essentially the fingering for these four chords:

Dm – C – Bb – C

And while we’re at it, here are the rest of the song chords!

[Verse 1]
C__________Dm C Bb
We’re all strangers
___C_____________Dm____________C_________Bb
Fighting in the streets with no common ground
C___________Dm C Bb
We’re just strangers
C_____________Dm_______________C_________Bb
Tryna find release when there’s none around

[Pre-Chorus 1]
C ___________Bbmaj7
Then there’s you
Am7_________________________Gm7
You don’t feel that much a stranger
Am7_______________________Bbmaj7
You stand out from all the crowds
Am7______________________Gm7
I don’t feel that much in danger
_______C
I was lost till I found you

[Chorus]
F__________________________________________Gm7
Baby, baby, won’t you please come rescue me?
___________________________________Bbmaj7
I don’t really wanna stay if you’re not
Bb__________________Am7
All I know is that I need you, baby
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7 C_________F
Hold me close so I can finally breathe

[Verse 2]
C__________Dm C Bb
We’re all strangers
C___________Dm____________C_________Bb
Fighting gravity, stuck here on the ground
C___________Dm C Bb
We’re just strangers
C_____________Dm_______________C_________Bb
Tryna keep the peace when there’s none around

[Pre-Chorus 2]
C ___________Bbmaj7
Then there’s you
Am7__________________Gm7
You’re my little ray of sunshine
Am7__________Bbmaj7
You are immortality
Am7______________________Gm7
You make me forget about time
C
And how it’s comin’ for me, so

[Chorus]
F__________________________________________Gm7
Baby, baby, won’t you please come rescue me?
___________________________________Bbmaj7
I don’t really wanna stay if you’re not
Bb__________________Am7
All I know is that I need you, baby
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7 C_________F
Hold me close so I can finally breathe
________Gm7 ________Bbmaj7____Am7
Finally breathe, finally breathe
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7______C
Hold me close so I can finally

[Post-Chorus]
F
When you tell me that you love me, babe
F
You bring the sun and take away my pain
Gm7
And the anxiety is miles away
Gm7
I didn’t know that I could feel that way
Bbmaj7______________Am7______________Gm7_________C
I didn’t know life was so beautiful till I held you, oh yeah

[Bridge]
Bbmaj7____________Bbm7_______Am7__________Dsus2
Your eyes make me feel like I’m off floating on air
___________Gm7________C_________F___________ Dsus2
When you look at me, fuck everything else but you, yeah
Gm7__________Bbm
I don’t wanna be there, so

[Chorus]
F__________________________________________Gm7
Baby, baby, won’t you please come rescue me?
___________________________________Bbmaj7
I don’t really wanna stay if you’re not
Bb__________________Am7
All I know is that I need you, baby
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7 C_________F
Hold me close so I can finally breathe
________Gm7 ________Bbmaj7____Am7
Finally breathe, finally breathe
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7______C
Hold me close so I can finally
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7______C
Hold me close so I can finally
Bbmaj7 Am7_____Gm7____C___F
Hold me close so I can finally breathe

How was that? Enough breathing?

Have fun with it!

This song and all its copyrights and merchandise and gewgaws and knick-knacks fully belong to James Arthur and whichever company he recorded with and I in no way lay claim to any of it.

Please follow and like us:

Antey Biteys

They climb on you, and then they get mad and bite you. What the heck is wrong with you stupid ants!?

Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic
Samtoki ant bite comic

Have you ever been happily strolling along or standing around minding your own business when you felt that little pinch on your skin, the sting of little pincers poking into your sensitive skin?

I’ve always wondered why ants would chomp down unprovoked when we’re blissfully ignorant of their presence.

Are they trying to hang on tight? Or asking to get off? Or they just want a piece of this? Maybe they want to carry you back to their nest.

Whatever it is, I wish they would stop it with the needless antey biteys.

Please follow and like us: